The night the lights went out in Wilmington!

So...the strangest thing happened.....
I have always enjoyed staying at Tim's brother's place in Wilmington. A nice comfortable house that looks out over the inland waterway. The house sits off from the road. Spacious deck on the back of the house. A small back yard that has a drop off of about 4 feet that is a swampy area until you get to waterway. The pier is long and has a nice sitting area and there is the boat dock.
Very relaxing! Well......usually!
It's 11:30 at night and we are getting ready for bed. There is a loud thump/pop! Made me think of the Christmas tale "I heard such a clatter, I jumped to my feet to see what was the matter!" Tim's response was "It's upstairs. I heard it last night." Our friends that were upstairs heard it. They thought it was us in the garage. Curious minds (mine) wanted to know. I walk into the dining area and look up at the ceiling in wonder. In the corner of my eye, I see a reflection in the glass doors. I head that direction and it appears that there is someone in the back yard. I'm a little freaked out because why would there be someone in the backyard? Are they burglars? I rush to get Tim. I shout that there is someone in the back yard. I run back to the dining room. I then venture out onto the deck and what do I see? But a car! Yes, in the back yard. There is no drive way or walk way back there. What in the world? worse...there is a person passed out on the driver's side. I enjoyed a glass of wine earlier in the evening. I rarely consume so I'm wondering if I'm seeing things! I run back to find my husband in the same position he was in when I hollered the first go around. He's in the bathroom reading the paper. When I share that not only is there a person, but a car in the backyard! and the driver is unresponsive! He did finally look up with curiosity. Now to a nurse, unresponsive is not a good thing. I then race to the front door and yell at my friend to come help! She is brushing her teeth with tooth paste all over her face. She thinks I'm messing with her and joking! What is it with my hubby and friends?
I run around the side of the house and then suddenly it occurs to me that someone might be on drugs or they might have a gun! Why else wouldn't I be thinking wild things! There was a car in the back yard! I walk cautiously to the driver side of the car. Tap on the window. She gently stirs. I slowly open the door while placing my hand on her to keep her falling out the door. And then she woke up.....Uh oh! Stubborn and determined was this young drunk lady. out of the car, down on the ground. Up on her feet, back to the car. Attempted to start the car but I quickly reached in the grab the keys....Wrong!! A quick grab of hair from the back of my head. She shared a few choice words and she was going to whip my white *%*@. I go running to throw the keys up to Tim who is up on the deck watching the excitement while talking to 911. Although I sped like lightening fearful for my life, I was saved by her stumble to the ground, then a tumble down the hill, then upright to share a few choice comments again. By this time, my husband has come to the rescue and allows me to talk to 911. I go inside to get her a blanket because what tiny little bit she was wearing made me cold! Eventually, what seemed like forever, the fire truck, the EMS, two trooper cars and a Sherriff's deputy drove up. She shared with the cops that she was partying with us! I guess you could call it that! The hand cuffs were pretty bracelets but she decided they didn't fit with her attire and wingled out of them. They were quick to fit them to her size next go around. Soon thereafter, she took a nap....in the front seat of the police car. What a night!

The neighbors on both sides never stirred. No one came outside to "see what was the matter". It appears she had driven down the drive next door. Kept driving straight, amazingly didn't hit any of the cars , but instead smashed into the air conditioning unit. She couldn't go very far, so she steered around it to find the covering of the pump house in her way.....to the 4 foot drop off into the ocean. She swirved to the right and wa la! Ends up in their back yard. Fortunately she stopped and turned off the car. Again..so very bizarre. Come to find out, she had a previous DWI. I finally understand what MADD represents! Although my children were never in jeopardy, they could have been. Not to mention the empty car seat that was in her backseat! I pray she gets help!

Spring break April 2010

This has been spring break for Hunter and Brittney is off for her spring break as well.
What was originally planned for them to travel out west ended up being staying in NC.
A couple of days on the farm, then a trip to MooreHead city, the aquarium and a state park.
Tim and the boys and Brittney ended up in Wilmington on Thursday night.

I have joined them this afternoon. I worked half a day, got gas in the van, picked up the dry cleaning, unloaded the car, did two loads of laundry, made cupcakes and brownies, washed the dishes, gathered the needed items Tim requested, packed my clothes, packed lots of food, watered the fish, fed the fish, fed the cat, watered Tim's plants/herbs/ fed and watered the roosters, gathered the eggs, fed the guineas, fed the hens, checked on the little chicks, loaded the car, loaded the dog, loaded the rodent and away I drove. Whew!

Weather is beautiful. I'm hopeful it will remain that way for the weekend.

A night on the farm!

Ahh! Sleep! Up early, busy day at work, fourth night in a row up late to get caught up with school. Head on pillow, eyes closed....peaceful....

And then there was this rattling noise. My eyes open, up I go to discover that Brittney's gerbil has decided to excercise on his merry-go-round wheel. Off to the opposite end of the house and behind the bedroom door he goes. Back to bed....off to la la land!

Up I jumped...I arose from such a fright...Pell, the dog is barking and growling and scratching at the window. What in the world? I see the outside cat scramble fast out of sight...low and behold a creature has taken up the cat's perch on the window ledge. He sits with his big eyes looking at me, looking at Pell. Most wild animals would run scared when a human approached them, but not this one. As I walk toward the window, he just sits and stares. This possum was not playing possum. I tap on the window and much to my dismay, he sits. I' m wondering if he is sick or rabid. He sits. He yawns. He remains perched. Even the sound of the dog yapping and barking doesn't frighten him. Is this thing deaf? Is he so dumb he doesn't know that the mean vicous dog could eat him alive? I sit and watch and wonder what to do. It's 1:30 in the morning. Tim is away with the kids. I could get the gun, but then to find the bullets. But I couldnt' shoot him. It would bust out my window. I considered grabbing the broom. It has worked for women shooing critters for hundreds of years. Do I dare? I continue to sit and contemplate my dilemma. I consider calling to wake my husband but decide he wouldn't hear his phone because of his CPAP. I text Brittney instead. "R Yall awake?" What they could have helped with I don't know, but sharing my situation was needed. The phone book is the next idea. Perhaps the animal control people would come out at 2 in the morning and help. I would have to lead them to believe he might be sick. And then, as I consider how long it would take them to get to our house, the critter begins to stir. He looks at me as if to say, "I'm done now. I'm off to my next adventure." He turns, smells the cat's food and saunters away. I was stunned! My beauty sleep had been interuppted for...????
I'm immediately frustrated at Tim...its an ongoing joke between us that everything happens when he is away. :) So, back to the warmth of my bed and the comfort of my pillow. I prayed that all the animals in the world would slumber for a few hours as well....

The Fluffy Snow on Martin Farm

My usual Saturday morning ritual of enjoying my cups of coffee and the view from my sun room has been enhanced by the beauty of the morning. We have been blessed with 4-6 inches of snow and it is magical. It is pretty, fluffy white snow. It reminded me of Splenda in a bag. :) This is our 2nd snow of the year and so much better than the snow of two weeks ago that was mixed with ice. The sun is shining brightly and the tree branches are glistening. The boys have joined me on the couch to snuggle thus making my morning complete. And as Walker would say every day:
"You know what you haven't had today? A kiss and a hug!" There will come a day soon when the snow will melt and a time in the near future that my little man will not be worried about my daily kiss and hug, but for now, life is good!

Rapa Nui

I have long been interested in the story of Easter Island (Rapa Nui). For those unfamiliar with the story and history of Rapa Nui, it is worth looking into for the sheer wonder/horror that it represents. It is truly another version of a paradise lost.

In a nutshell, Easter Island is an isolated island in the Pacific which was originally settled by humans about 1500 years ago. It is located thousands of miles from any other inhabited place, so once discovered, the island was pretty much the center and extent of the earth to its inhabitants. A comparison could be made to another small dot in the middle of a vast, inhospitable space - the earth. The people of Rapa Nui quickly came to believe that they were the only people on earth and that the island was all there was to earth. The population never exceeded a few thousand people, but for an island 15 miles by 7 miles, this was plenty. The island was very rich when found, forested and with great resources. The people thrived at first and developed a class based society built around the worship of the ancients. This resulted in the iconic statues that Easter Island is known for.

There have been a total of 887 Moai found on Easter Island. Most were either never completed or never transported to their intended destinations. About a quarter were. These were placed along the shore areas around the entire island and placed on rock stands called Ahu. The statues always face inland with there backs to the sea. What this meant you could speculate on for days. Many of the statues are still located in the central island quarries in various stages of completion, some still embedded in the rock. The civilization that built these statues apparently collapsed at once.

At the time of European discovery in the early 18th century, the society had descended into a decentralized mess with pretty savage customs. The island was now treeless and only limited agriculture took place on the rich, but eroded volcanic soils. (The scene in the movie where they chop down the last tree - "Someone has to chop it down. It might as well be me" - is horrifying) With the trees gone, so was all chance at building canoes or boats, houses or towns. All were instantly poorer and with a much bleaker future. So many options and choices instantly disappeared The religion was the "Birdman" cult described in the movie "Rapa Nui" (available on Netflix instant viewing).

Modern parallels can quickly be seen. Maybe the comparisons are too simplistic, but here go a few.

• We like the Rapa Nui, too often see ourselves as the center of the universe and its only purpose.
• We are also surrounded by an unfathomably large amount of space, separating us from any other possible explanations as to how we fit into the universe or our place in the bigger picture.
• We also, even though we conceptually see that the only thing we have is our island, seem intent on degrading or destroying her. She is our lifeboat, yet we seem to be chopping holes in her hull and cutting down her masts as quickly as we are able. The main difference seems to be only one of scale, not one of material difference in our eventual course or intentions.
• We also seem organically bound to divide ourselves into classes or groups based on arbitrary assigned differences like skin color or language or birth place. The Rapa Nui divided themselves into a ruling class (the long ears) and a labor (slave) class (the short ears). And the only thing that kept the society functioning was this system. When it fell apart, society degraded into chaos. This says something about who we are and I don't think it is too nice.

In my perfect world, we could see these parallels and the dangers and ultimate destinations that these comparisons would lead us to believe we are heading. But we can easily see what we are doing to our home. And we can easily see the eventual outcome. And we have always consistently chosen to pretend that it isn't so. The end of this story is already written. And we will not make any changes until changes will not matter. Just like the Rapa Nui.

The brain vs the heart? Where is the soul really at?

Its Saturday morning and what looks to be the beginning of a beautiful day through the windows of my sunroom. I don't blog about work much, but today some reflections are running around in my head. Tim works in CVT, an open-heart unit. I manage a Medical/Neuro ICU. I often do brief educational sessions on strokes. I tease in my classes about which matters most the heart or the brain. The brain is why we breathe, why we move. Its where we hold our intelligence and our memories. Its why our heart beats. Yet our brain wouldn't work without good oxygen rich blood that is pumped to the brain by the heart, so kind of like which came first the chicken or the egg. The brain tells the heart to beat, the heart beats the oxygenated blood to the brain. A broken heart (literrally not figuratively) affects the whole body and the brain. A broken brain affects the heart and the body as well. Are they equal? I guess that answer depends on who you are - a person who has strong beliefs about one's spirit and soul or if your a scientist and don't put much stock in feelings.
We equate so many of our emotions with our heart - love in my heart (feeling of euphoria), a broken heart (feeling of sadness), anger in ones heart (feeling of anger and frustration). Yet in truth, these feelings and emotions are created in our brain and the actions stimulated from these emotions are again products of all the activity in our brain. The smiles, the laughter, the tears, the sadness - all comes from an area of your brain.
In healthcare, when a patient has a heart attack and dies, we generally are okay with the thought that the persons spirit and soul have gone to heaven at the time the heart is no longer beating. And I think for any of us, we look for that certainty of when death is. The person is no longer breathing and the heart is no longer beating. As nurses, we are trained to assess for these two things to determine that the patient is dead. So, that certainty we are looking for, is it the time written on the death certificate? If your reading this, your wondering if I am crazy, I'm sure. But when someone is brain dead, death goes against our training because they are still breathing and the heart is still beating, although artificially. When you have a patient who is brain dead or seemingly, but it is time between brain death testing that is the hold up, so what is the time of death? When we stop the ventilator and the heart beat stops on the monitor? That is what will be written on the death certificate. Is that when we truly see the heart is no longer beating, that we have proof that ones spirit is now gone to heaven? The truth though is that when the brain no longer functions, it is artificial means that is keeping things on the monitor. So, here is a far fetched thought, we dont' get emotionally attached to machines or equipment, yet its okay to get attached to the ventilator and monitor?
To summarize - if nothing else - for myself.....We need our brains to direct all the things we do and are. We need our heart to pump good oxygenated blood everywhere. Sometimes our heart (supposed emotions) and our brain (logic) do not agree. We think our heart says do something , yet our brain says don't. We have a heart attack and die, our soul goes to heaven. Our brain dies and perhaps at the point when it herniated, that is when our soul goes to heaven? As a nurse, I would think that. As a family member, I would hold out that when the heart is no longer beating on that monitor, the soul is then released. But the challenge of getting a family to understand that its just an empty body, a body that without brain functions is not compatable with life is touch. I guess we hang on to the fact that as long as the body is still warm and the heart is still functioning that the patient is still with us to touch and see. Once gone, those simple things are no longer available. As a loved one, I would want to touch that warmth and hold on as long as I could, yet if I knew that the soul was gone to heaven at an earlier point and if I knew that the body's warmth was just fake, would I get to acceptance of death sooner? Hmm? so perplexing. Death is never easy. I can't help but think though that a heart attack related death is so much easier on the family because it is so much more definitive. Brain death - not so much.
And then - what if they become an organ donor? If the heart is transplanted, we as a society believe that our loved ones spirit lives on. But the truth is, their memories, personality and identity died when thier brain died. Yet, an organ donor is always a hero and thank goodness that their are those that are giving and unselfish and want to help others in need. Just like money, you can't take it with you. Why don't people donate? A whole different blog! :)
Enough about this subject of death. A reality of life. A reality that nurses deal with. For this one, an emotional ride as I see the young patient, I see the clinical reality, yet the sadness and strong HOPE and faith in the wife and family. Miracles do happen, but still an internal struggle for me. Could you tell?

A peaceful morning

One of my many New Years Resolutions was to ensure that I made time to do many of those things I enjoy. Walking, pleasure reading and blogging to name a few. Well, there have been many simple moments that made me smile and the thought of sharing them came to mind. I have not fulfilled my goal of making time each time I wanted to blog, but perhaps today is the beginning of a new habit. I may even blog about them today and change the date, so those who read would never know of my lateness. Hmmm?
I'm not sure if "global warming" is to blame, but Mother Nature fooled us yet again this week.
This past Thursday afternoon we heard and read of the 60% chance of snow for Thursday night and Friday morning. I cancelled a meeting at work on Friday, overstaffed so no one would be driving in the snow, prepared staff to stay over if needed, school was delayed by two hours on Friday and all the stores were filled with people stocking up.
On Thursday night at midnight, as I nursed my aching heart over the Championship football game where University of Texas lost to the Crimson Tide of Alabama, I noticed there was no white stuff on the ground. Temperatures remained in the high 30's. Up at 050o in the event I needed to pick up staff in our four-wheel drive truck (as if I'm the expert 4-wheel driver), but only a crisp cold morning was felt - no white stuff. So, the day continues as usual.
Today, Saturday January 9th, 2010 has a morning temperature of 22 degrees. Burrrrr! I'm enjoying my fresh hot coffee in my delightful new mug that Tim made me for Christmas with his last pottery batch. My warm electric stove that has a "fireplace" appeal is warming the sunroom. I have lit my Cranberry candle to add to the delight in the morning. The sun is shining bright and we finallly have all kinds of birds at our feeders. Golden finches and snow birds, I think is what they are. The boys, the Rabbitt, and the two dogs fill the room with what seems like chaos, yet smiles and love abound.
As I contemplate what to do today, as my list is long, blogging wins for the moment.